“You’ve come a long way, darling …” the television ad read. In the 1970s, women were told that we could have it all, do it all, be everything. They told us we could move up the corporate ladder, become a mother, have a successful marriage, and earn dollar for dollar as much as a man. Now we had “women’s rights.”
Along with those rights came the pill. Sexual freedom Now we could have sex without so much fear of pregnancy. In fact, we were equal to men. Right? Or do we just make sex easy for them without making any effort?
Along with those rights, we learned phrases like “macho pig” and we set out to educate men so that they could no longer objectify us as women. Singer Helen Reddy sang “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar.”
We stopped allowing men to open our doors, pay for our drinks and dinner, and insisted that we could bring the bacon home AND fry it in the pan. In addition to being “equal”, we insist that men do not see us as women … but as equals. But are we the same, really? And how equal do we want to be? Personally, I’m not interested in being one of the guys. I like being a woman. I like to be feminine. I like when a man is a real man.
Biologically, we are not the same as men. The men are still snipers and snails and puppy tails, trucks, guns, and testosterone, and the women are still sugar, spice, all the good stuff, lip liner, and lunch with the girls. Thank God we are not the same. I believe in women’s rights and I also believe that women have the right to be treated with basic human consideration and respect. Men deserve respect too, but personally I can’t respect a man who doesn’t respect me. Is it any wonder why so many women complain to me and each other that they don’t feel respected by men?
How far have we really come since the 70s? Let’s see ….
Women still earn less than men doing the same amount of work. Now we work outside the home, we come home exhausted and we work inside the home taking care of the children and our husband. If a husband and wife divorce, their lifestyle decreases by 45% and his lifestyle increases by 15%.
The men of the “future”, that is, TODAY, were supposed to be caring men who were products of “an enlightened age” sensitized to our plight as women. Men who, even if they no longer open our doors, pay our way, respect us as women, revere us as mothers and wives and girlfriends, were expected to NOT OBJECT US OR DISRESPECT US.
Well guess what? Many of the men who are supposed to be products of 70s moms and dads … so-called “enlightened men” are still objectifying women.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I get a text or email from a guy I don’t know and have never met who calls me “babe.”
Here is a small example of the types of emails I receive from strangers:
“Hey babe. Hit me and let’s talk.” “Hey, sexy. Do you want to talk baby?” “Hey babe. Let me know if you want to flirt. Okay babe?”
Hello? I have a name AND IT’S NOT BABE. I loved the movie, but I’m not a talking pig, not a celebrity baseball player, or a multi-sport female freak (although I used to play decent soccer and basketball). We have not met. Please don’t think you may be SO familiar with me. Let me say this to all the guys who call me “Babe” … “Hey babe. When you can email me and have something to say, is it better to break the ice than ‘want to flirt with me and see what happens’?’ Then let me know. If you’re so spoiled, lazy, or too stingy for a cup of coffee or have so few social skills that you think I’m going to fall in love with you based on your one-sentence courtship of me, you’ve got something else to come. It’s your best game A, keep going.
I’m not going to play that game with you. I am NOT ripe fruit. I am a confident woman with a lot to give to someone, and I don’t just mean sexually. I am not an aging, desperate, stupid, gullible woman who mistakes objectification for genuine and respectful interest. I’ve lived long enough to know when they are disrespecting me. I’m not desperate for sex, but I BET YOU ARE and that’s why you’re emailing women 60 at a time in hopes that playing the numbers game will pay off. I am not a pair of boobs. I am not a pair of legs. I’m not YOUR hot babe.
I am a mature, cultured, educated, self respecting woman with high self esteem and high self esteem who is not going to spend an ounce of my effort on ANY man who will step in and talk to me like I am a free whore. I have helped people to die and I have been in the room when they passed away. I’ve been through hurricanes. I have a perspective on life that you won’t get for 20-30 years IF THAT. I will not allow anyone to trivialize my existence by calling me ‘Babe’ and texting me a booty call when you and I have never spoken on the phone, met face to face or broken bread together … Let me repeat. this. I have it clear: I am not a ripe fruit for you to pass, pick it up from the ground, use it and discard it “.
So do men still objectify women? From what I’m reading on the internet in recent studies, yes. (April 1, 2009 LifeSiteNews.com) – Psychology researchers at Stanford and Princeton Universities have found that images of semi-naked women can make men see them as objects. A principal investigator of the project said: “What the brain scans show is that they are reacting to this photograph when people react to objects. It is as if they are not fully human.”
Why does this continue in 2009 with almost 40 years of “equality” between men and women? Well, one reason is that women allow it. We let the men get away with it. Maybe we don’t value ourselves, so why should we expect a man to value us? Perhaps we overlook this familiar term because it is not worth getting angry about. And maybe after the thousandth time of hearing it, we reached a breaking point and finally decided to draw a line, because it signals the beginning of a downhill slide with a man. One reason is that with pornography so readily available on the Internet, men look at two-dimensional representations of women and sexualize what they see. They transfer this sexualization to real three-dimensional women and treat them accordingly. One reason is because while their moms were climbing the corporate ladder, there was no one at home TEACHING these young men how to respect women. One of the reasons is due to divorce, Dad no longer lives at home and perhaps Dad scolds Mom in front of the boys.
If you think that just because you are young and sexy and that is enough, God bless you. If you don’t change that way of thinking, you will become the very old man with whom we women are fed up with meeting and dating.