How often do you make excuses?

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‘Sorry, I’m busy, I don’t have time.’ Do you hear yourself uttering these words quite often? Have they become a habit, an excuse, an automatic defect to save you from making an effort? Saying you’re too tired or busy can end up wearing you regularly, which can cause you to rarely step out of your comfort zone, perhaps ultimately affecting your ability or desire to take a risk, stretch, and try something new.

The phrase “if you want to do something, ask a busy person” has some validity. A busy person cannot afford to put something on the back burner. They have no time for excuses. They already have a mountain of things waiting to be moved to the ‘actionable’ stack. So they’ll get their knuckles on and get on with things, there’s no point waiting. Let’s do it!

– Sometimes the excuses are genuine. We really can’t go, do it, do what is asked of us. There are genuine reasons for our response. But there are people who constantly make excuses, they have been to so many great-aunts or great-aunts funerals that it has become a common joke.

– Humor can help sometimes. A shrug, a wink maybe, and a ‘you know how I am’, ‘what can I say, I’m hopeless’ or ‘I couldn’t help it’ can sometimes charm someone into agreeing. Our excuse, as long as they don’t feel too uncomfortable and it doesn’t happen too often.

– We can use an excuse to forgive someone’s feelings. An unwanted invitation or request can make us tremble with hope for a miraculous reason to decline. We do not want our actions to affect another person causing embarrassment or discomfort. We also don’t want to feel guilty or responsible for your disappointment.

– Using an excuse that worked before It can be tempting, it is certainly an option. But if you’re going to do better, make sure it doesn’t sound too rehearsed and worked.

– Excuses can certainly help us get out of difficult situations, those in which we can feel committed. But giving complicated explanations can be disrespectful and do no one any favors. Are they really plausible? Sometimes it is much better to simply say, “I’m afraid I can’t”, “This is not a good time for me right now.”

– Short and simple it means that there is nothing too difficult to remember or stumble upon in the future. Elaborate explanations can be suspicious, especially if other people are involved. I’m sure we’ve all seen detective shows where multiple suspects repeat identical statements, use the same phrases, a clear indication of previously rehearsed alibis.

A good excuse has to sound sincere, with real regret. There has to be some awareness of what is being said and of the impact it will have on the other person’s life, on the plans they have made, the effort they have invested.

The best excuses are real and are made because something unexpected, beyond our control, has forced us to cancel the arrangements that we originally agreed to, for example, health problems. Not because a better offer has come up or because they don’t bother us!

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