There’s so much a person can take
The documentary bully It begins with footage of David Long of Murray County, Georgia viewing home video footage of his son, Tyler. Initially, David says, Tyler was a bright and vibrant kid. But as he got older, something in him changed. He became increasingly withdrawn from other children his age, preferring to be alone. Little by little, David and his wife, Tina, realized that he was being bullied at school. In all likelihood, they did not learn the full extent of his son’s physical and emotional torment until after he killed himself in October 2009. He was only seventeen years old. “If there is a heaven,” says David, bravely keeping his emotions in check, “I know Tyler is there. What keeps me going is the blind faith that I will see him again. That, my wife and my other children .” The Longs take action, hosting a town hall meeting to address the ways the school system failed to protect their son.
Later in the film, we meet Kirk and Laura Smalley, residents of Perkins, Oklahoma, as they attend the funeral of their eleven-year-old son, Ty, who also committed suicide after years of bullying. In her bedroom, Laura is slumped on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Kirk sits up in bed, distraught but able to speak. “We’re a bunch of nobodies,” he says. “If this had happened to some politician’s son, a law would be passed in a minute.” Ty’s best friend finally admits that he was a second-degree bully himself; in third grade, he realized that what he was doing was wrong and that, at age eleven, he is passionately against bullying. So are Ty’s parents. At the beginning of the academic year, Kirk, new to the Internet, launches Stand for the Silent, an organization that will be dedicated to preventing youth bullying and suicide.
Principal Lee Hirsch, who was also a victim of bullying, also interviewed several children and families during the course of the 2009/2010 academic year. There is fourteen-year-old Ja’Meya from Yazoo County, Mississippi, who is nearing the end of her sentence in a juvenile detention center for brandishing a loaded shotgun at her tormentors in a crowded school bus. She and her mother are anxiously awaiting the outcome of her case. She quiet and unassuming, she knows she made a big mistake and will have a criminal record for the rest of her life. There’s sixteen-year-old Kelby from Tuttle, Oklahoma; ever since she came out as a lesbian, she and her family have been excluded from the community. Initially, she refuses to leave her school or her town, as she believes that she can make a difference. As the movie progresses, it becomes clearer that such a thing is easier said than done. At a minimum, she has the support of her father and her friends, especially the latter.
The main focus of the film is twelve-year-old Alex from Sioux City, Iowa. Hirsch and his camera crew follow him through his seventh year, capturing a constant stream of insults, physical assaults, and threats from various stalkers. He gets the worst of it on the school bus, where it seems the drivers couldn’t care less about any of the kids, least of all Alex. He gets along well with his family, although by the time he arrives at school he has cut off all communication with his parents. It is understandable that they are frustrated. This goes double for his mother, who gave birth to Alex after only twenty-six weeks of pregnancy and was told that she was not expected to survive. When the threats against Alex go too far, Hirsch decides it’s time to intervene; he shows the footage he filmed to his parents, the police and the school administrators.
His mother’s reaction is interesting. On the one hand, she’s angry at the school’s principal and deputy principal, who make the usual comments to her about how it’s going to be fixed when it’s obvious they don’t care one bit about her. On the other hand, she suddenly understands what Alex feels and why. Now it makes sense to her that he comes in minimizing the seriousness of her situation and showing no emotion. She believes that he is modeling her father, although he claims that Alex has never seen him cry simply because he is not present when it happens. The only time Alex shows a genuine emotional reaction is when she admits on camera, with trembling lip, that he’s gotten to the point where he wishes he was the stalker.
It is now well known that bully was the subject of controversy regarding its rating. Initially marked with an R for some language, Katy Butler of Ann Arbor, Michigan created a petition to change the rating to PG-13, as she wanted to ensure it was exposed to school children. The MPAA refused to budge, so The Weinstein Company released the film without a rating. Although I applaud his act of defiance, an unrated movie gets even less distribution than an R-rated movie. This is a crossdresser; This movie is a must watch for all teens, teens, parents, bus drivers and school administrators. If there isn’t a theater in your area showing it, email Weinstein and request a DVD or internet screening. The day I saw it, I noticed in the audience a woman with three children, each of whom appeared to be between ten and twelve years old. I don’t know if they got anything out of the movie, but afterwards I was tempted to go up to the woman and congratulate her on her efforts.
