Paul was obsessed with his wife Christy even after 12 years of marriage. He would see her if she went grocery shopping, visited her parents, met her friends, and even when she went out to see a doctor. His fixation on his wife and everything she did grew with each passing year and Christy began to suffocate under Paul’s anguished obsession. Paul had even stopped traveling due to work commitments so that he could be with his wife as much as possible. Fortunately, Paul cooperated when Christy convinced him to seek help. Her psychiatrist diagnosed her with Adult Separation Anxiety (ASA).
Sometimes childhood separation anxiety continues into adulthood or can develop in adulthood due to past abuse or neglect. ASA can be so overwhelming that a person can have a panic attack when a loved one moves out. At other times, when the illness is not so intimidating, there may be other subtle symptoms, such as:
Jealousy – Extreme jealousy manifests itself in people when they fear losing control over a loved one. They are less trusting, harbor irrational doubts and worries, and may also fear infidelity.
Strict parenting – Also known as reverse separation anxiety, parents can be so worried that their child will one day leave them that they start to control the child’s life. Parents become extremely strict and protective, as they constantly fear living alone if the child leaves them.
Frustrating relationships – Sometimes, despite knowing that a person or a relationship can be harmful to physical or psychological health, people get stuck. They are afraid to leave because they are constantly anxious for something to go wrong.
Mooching – When adult children do not leave their parents’ house or when a friend visits them but does not seem to leave, it is known as mooching.
Ways to manage ASA
To understand the problem, you have to take a close look at the symptoms of separation anxiety in a person, which could be excessive worry about losing things, inexplicable attachment to people, and sleep disturbances. In the absence of a sufficient diagnostic evaluation for ASA, its treatment is not clinically defined. However, it is possible to control symptoms and gradually overcome insurmountable anxiety.
- Join support groups – Joining support groups can be of great help, as they offer a platform to connect with people who sail in the same boat. Talking and sharing experiences can be very therapeutic and liberating in the long run.
- Practicing relaxation techniques – It is important to calm the anxious mind and feel relaxed. Yoga, meditation, and mindfulness techniques are immensely beneficial. One should try to do activities that you enjoy to distract from unwarranted fears. Walking a pet, walking in a garden, enjoying dinner with friends, cooking, or reading an inspiring book are some of the ways to keep yourself busy and mentally satisfied.
- To write a diary – Whenever you feel anxious, you should write about those feelings in a journal. Writing can help identify feelings and address them when they arise the next time. It is also a great opportunity to assess the response to worrying thoughts and make efforts to rephrase them in a positive way.
- Taking professional help – Any anxiety disorder can interfere with daily activities and impede personal and professional growth. It also affects relationships and people may not want to associate with someone who is overly possessive. To prevent symptoms from getting worse, it is important to get professional support.
ASA recovery is possible
If ASA is not treated in time, one could become obsessed and indulge in other negative behaviors. But anxiety can be treated with medications, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and other therapies like art therapy or dance moves.
