Music can add a very special touch and feeling to the funeral or celebration of life you are planning. Music has a way of bringing back memories of special moments in our lives. It’s important to give some thought to the music and songs you select for your or your loved one’s funeral, as it will set the tone for the service. Music reflects the personality of the deceased and people’s taste in music is as unique as we are.
Ways to select appropriate songs and music
When I look for songs that are appropriate for someone who has passed away, I start by thinking about the kind of music that they listened to when they were at their best or when they were at their happiest. This could be a time period, say the ’60s, or it could be the music they listened to when they were doing what they loved. Imagine your loved one participating in one of their hobbies, what music do you think they would be playing?
If you are not sure, you can check the CD player in your car or at home. If they had an iPod, you could go through and find their favorite playlist. If they were happily married, do you know what songs they selected for their wedding? You can also ask close friends and family what song or music they think of when they think of your loved one.
How to use funeral songs to establish a theme for the celebration of life
Music can set the theme of the service. For example, my uncle wants a traditional Irish funeral where the gathering involves a lot of storytelling, laughter, and drinking. I imagine playing uplifting Irish music in the background. I could also see us singing his favorite Irish songs, of course “Danny Boy” and “When Irish Eyes are Smiling” immediately come to mind. I can also see the hiring of an Irish band to play live music at his funeral. Imagine having a service like this without the Irish music…
Another current theme that is used in funerals and celebrations of life are the angels. Kristin Chenoweth’s Borrowed Angels and Alabama’s Angels Among Us come to mind as perfect songs for an angel theme. You can also incorporate angels into the binder you hand out to attendees, the thank you notes you send, and you can hand out pewter angel pocket charms as people enter the service.
How you can use the selected funeral songs in the service
You will want to listen to music when people enter the service. This is the time when people can take a moment to listen to the music because it’s usually pretty quiet as they sit down and the service hasn’t started yet. If people are giving eulogies, you may want to play songs between the eulogies so that if not there is an awkward pause between speakers. Music can be kept at a low volume during these times. After the service, when people leave, you will want to listen to music again. Singing can help people feel like they are contributing to the event. I suggest that if there are songs that were particularly special to your loved one, print out the lyrics on the show and suggest that people sing along to them. This can be an uplifting song for the service to end on an upbeat beat.
Songs can be incorporated into video presentations. Many people are making photo CD’s to celebrate the life that was lived. Please note that if you are preparing a multimedia presentation to display on the service, you do not need to play the entire song. Fade out the music to flow with the theme of the photos. The video presentation can be shared with attendees via CD or directed to a website where they can download it. You can also add the song playlist to the memorial website you are creating or to your Facebook page.
Some Very Untraditional Funeral Songs
As people express their wishes in advance, I’ve heard some pretty unusual funeral songs were chosen, like Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell,” “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”. from Monty Python, and “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” from “The Wizard of Oz.” You will obviously want to select them very carefully so as not to offend the family or friends of the deceased, however, if it is their wish, you can make them known and it will certainly lighten the mood.
As you choose an appropriate song selection for the funeral you’re planning, you’ll hopefully keep in mind the important role that music will play in the service. You will choose music that truly reflects the personality and spirit of the person you loved and lost. After the service, people will say, wow, that service was so personal, our friend _________ would have loved the tribute we gave him.
