Let’s admit it. When children are used as weapons, innocence dies.
Tragically and all too often, when a couple with children separate, the effect has a massive, tidal impact on all the people around them, including, and more especially, the God-given rights of children to be loved and protected. by his grandparents. . Even issues like which school the child goes to can become fodder in the war of retribution. It’s no wonder that grandparents’ rights to grandchildren often end up on the table … discarded.
While the laws on the rights of grandparents to grandchildren vary from state to state, most of them are based on the idea that parents should be able to say who their child has access to and who does not. From a legal point of view, the letter of the law places these decisions directly in the hands of the parents.
However, the spirit of the law … is now a completely different ball game.
The intent of the law, above all else, is to do whatever is in the “best interest of the children.” So the question becomes what defines “best interest.” Until recently, judges have seen fit to leave that issue up to parents, even when those parents are unable (or unwilling) to put the health and well-being of the child first. The letter of the law generally favors the biological father and mother, making obtaining legal rights over grandchildren in a custody or visitation dispute a difficult and rocky mountain to climb, indeed.
Some state laws are more lenient on the rights of grandparents to grandchildren than others. Everyone looks to the historic Troxel v. Granville Supreme Court case. That case said that visitation can only be enforced (and that includes visits from grandparents) when it is in the best interest of the children. If you decide to go the legal route, it is up to you, and your experienced attorney, to make the presiding judge understand that those interests include family traditions and genealogical heritage.
Some states interpret the spirit of that law differently. Some require grandparents to show that the child will be physically or emotionally harmed by prohibiting them from seeing grandparents for visits. Other states require grandparents to show “proof of love,” which is something that has a very nebulous and subjective legal definition. Love Test? Take photos. Record videos. Write letters. Send presents.
Often looking back at a divorce, good parents can see that they may have been reckless in making the decisions they made regarding grandparents’ rights over grandchildren. Even if the father did not particularly enjoy his former spouse’s parents, he can often recognize that the child would be much happier if he were allowed contact with that grandfather. Time can make a difference …
In the meantime, we must advocate for changing grandparent visitation rights … so that the letter of the law and the spirit of the law always come together to do what is best for our dear children.
