I came out of the coma. It was not expected. It also surprised doctors and family members that he was not in worse physical shape. He seemed to have lost in the boxing ring: both front teeth were missing, his tongue was twice his size, and he was badly bruised all over.
The stress of fanning the energy of my mother’s life with dying embers had overtaken me. The only thing that helped was forbidden by mom’s eldest daughter: rescuing broken animals and loving them back to health.
As I focused against the dazzling lights of the hospital, I saw my sad little mother sitting next to my sister groaning. “I became your worst enemy” were the first words I heard him say. She fully took on that role and has done immeasurable damage to my life before and since.
The kind of energy that my sister emanates from me or anyone who challenges her is the reason I didn’t want to be on this planet. It poisons people like me. Some of us cannot absorb toxic energy and keep our balance. We are the writers, artists and creators from all walks of life and we co-create with the universe to bring our version of art to this world to raise the vibration.
I allow myself to be weakened by focusing on someone else’s needs instead of my own. A better plan would be to extend care in ‘deposits’ but always retain enough to maintain a healthy and balanced life.
The police officer who appeared next to my hospital bed made eye contact and said, “Can you stand up?” He helped me to my feet and added, “I prefer not to handcuff myself unless necessary.” I knew it, but he didn’t, “I had no fight left.” I gave up.
It’s a good thing I did because at that point I was no longer free. Reaching for the door handle for the first time was sobering. It wasn’t there. I couldn’t open it. Only a human dressed in white had the authority to let me go.
Sobriety came quickly when I learned that the ‘family’ (my older sister) had requested a ‘permanent placement’. The nurse / social worker / person in white said they don’t do that anymore. This is a “temporary stop to review your medications and not an incarceration,” he informed me. It’s good that Sis thought so much about my future.
This ends here, I told myself. He was willing to listen to anyone who had answers. Little did he know that doctors did not know what to do with alcoholics. They are as puzzled as many drinkers as to why we do what we do to the extent that we do it.
Chemically unbalanced brains will make deadly decisions. That is my definition of insanity.
He needed Sane Sherry back. No one missed her more than me.
