Losing someone you are in love with is a very painful experience. You feel like you just lost something that you will never get back. Maybe your ex has told you that there is no chance of getting back in a relationship with him? Unless you have done something unforgivable, this is never the case.
If they were attracted to you before, they may be attracted to you again.
Following these 3 steps is a good start if you want to get back together with your ex.
1. Leave Them Alone: How can you get your ex back without even talking to them? Be patient. Don’t rush things right after the breakup. His emotions mixed with her emotions at this point will probably cause a very messy explosion.
At this point, he will still think that the reason he broke up with you is valid. If you keep pestering them, begging them to change their minds, and telling them “you can’t live without them,” you’ll only make things worse.
You have to show them that you are strong. Crying about it is okay, but they don’t need to know. They won’t take you back out of sympathy. If they know they can have you back at any time, what’s the rush? They can go out with other people and know that you are there as a backup.
Later, you can contact them again; we will cover it soon. But for now, no emails, no writing, no phone calls, no checking your MySpace profile. Every time you give in to one of these temptations, you will reduce your chances, reopen your wounds, and find yourself back where you started.
You have to prove to yourself and to them that you have a strong character. Give them time to miss you and wonder what you’re doing. This leads to…
2. Enrich your life – While you wait, fill your free time with anything and everything. Join the club. Start a new hobby that you have always wanted to do. Learn a musical instrument. By doing this, you will meet new people and improve yourself.
Delete the word “no” from your vocabulary for a while. Are your friends inviting you to a party? Say yes. An attractive member of the opposite sex asks you out on a date? Say yes. Remember, you are not betraying or cheating on your ex by doing this. They wanted the breakup, right? If he is not happy with you meeting new partners, then he will have to win you back.
If they know you might not be around to wait for them, they might suddenly realize they don’t want to lose you. You are not being manipulative unless you have no interest in these dates. This is win/win for you. Not only could you meet a new lover (who could turn out to be the man or woman of your dreams), but you’ll also make your ex reconsider losing you.
3. Get back in touch: Wait at least a week or two after the breakup before making any contact. Decide how much time you’re going to give it, and don’t change it.
If your ex tries to contact you before the time is up, use your judgment to decide whether or not to respond. Don’t break plans or go out of your way to see them, but don’t make a big deal of it either. Just say “I’m busy that night, but how about (a new day later in the week)?”
If they don’t get in touch, write them an email, or text, something casual asking how they’re doing. Don’t mention the breakup, dates, etc. Talk to them as if they were friends. If all goes well after a few exchanges, ask them if they’d like to hang out.
If they say yes, don’t instantly back away when you see them. Still treat them like friends. Focus on having fun. Make them laugh and smile. Show them something you’ve learned since they finished. (If you started taking guitar lessons in step 2, for example, show them your awesome version of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”)
The most important thing is to show them how much fun they can have with you. Nothing will kill the attraction more than diving into the deep. If you can make them laugh, half the battle is already won.
If you treat them like it’s a first date, they’ll feel like your first date. Remember why they were attracted to you in the first place and show them that it hasn’t changed in you. Show them that whatever caused the breakup has changed, and you’ll be fine.
