When you’ve just started spending time with someone, you may find that almost everything runs smoothly. So as long as they are with the other person, they can feel good and even relaxed.
During this stage, they may believe that it will always be this way and that they will never experience conflict with this person. Then the weeks and months could pass and it could stay that way.
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a different experience
However, even if it stays like this for a while, there will probably come a time when they start to experience different feelings. What will play a big role here is that one will start to settle down, just like their partner, which can mean that they will become more authentic.
So the kinds of things that haven’t been said or done before can end up being said and done. Along with this, the defenses that have come down over time will have opened them up more and made them more vulnerable in the process.
a strong reaction
When you experience feelings that aren’t particularly positive, it could be something that happens after your partner has said or done something. Here, one could end up getting very angry or feeling really upset, for example.
After this has happened, they might blame their partner; being clear to them that their partner is wrong. It could be this black and white, or it could be so much more.
fuel in the fire
However, even if your partner has done something wrong, it doesn’t mean that it will do your relationship any good if they end up lying. Your partner might stay calm or they might get defensive.
If they stay calm and make it clear that they are sorry for what has happened, they may soon be able to settle down. However, it may not be long until his inner world is all over the place again.
the same experience
Before long, one could have a very similar experience and once again be able to sleep with their partner. When this occurs, it could be as if one has been possessed by their emotions.
Still, your partner could do what he or she can to make you feel better. If your partner has done something wrong, you could say that it’s perfectly normal for him to be upset and it’s not his fault.
Step back
However, if you have begun to develop the ability to observe your inner world and are no longer controlled by how you feel, you may find that your partner is not always to blame for how you feel. What they might find is that there are times when their partner simply triggers a pain that is already inside them.
Being able to contain how you feel instead of directing it outward will likely lessen the amount of conflict that arises in your relationship. Something will be triggered and one will be able to be with what one feels, preventing a grain of sand from becoming a mountain.
Boundaries
What this means is that even though you are in a relationship with someone else, you have your own reality (just like your partner). With a strong sense of who they are and a clear understanding of where they start and end, it will be easier for them to recognize how they feel.
So, by developing your ability to observe your inner world and work on your limits, you will be able to heal your inner wounds. Every time they experience a strong reaction, there is a chance that a wound has surfaced.
back in time
An emotional wound can be traced back to something that happened in their adult life or it could be traced back to what happened when they were younger. Either way, it will be critical for them to heal him if they want to become a more integrated human being.
The reason for this is that when they were injured, a part of them would have likely been separated. Therefore, in order for them to recover this part of themselves, they must embrace it, feel the pain and gradually integrate it.
a new meaning
Seeing your pain in this way, the activation will still be painful, but you may no longer see it as a bad or negative thing. It will be much easier for them to surrender to how they feel and grow.
Along with this, they may come to believe that one of the reasons they would be attracted to someone is to heal themselves. The person you are with will be there to serve your evolution, just as you will be there to serve your partner’s evolution.
Awareness
Without self-awareness, it will not be possible for one to realize that another person is only bringing to the surface what is already inside. Self-awareness is what will set you free; free from a victim mentality, free to give away their power, and free to live a reactive life.
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If one has reached the point where they can see that they have internal injuries and these injuries make it difficult for them to function, they may need to seek external support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.
