As a mother of three very curious children, I hear the words “Why” and “What” several times a day. Many times I cannot give an acceptable explanation, but they continue to interrogate me. I’ve decided I also deserve to ask myself some “why” and “what is” questions. If anyone has the answers to these questions, please send them my way!
about pregnancy
- Why are the people who tell you that “natural childbirth is the only way to go” all women, while the men say that drugs is it so natural?
- Why do women dread their annual pelvic exam, but can’t wait to start having them weekly in their ninth month of pregnancy?
- Why is it always a male OB/GYN who says “Don’t worry, you’ll know when real labor is”?
- Why do our husbands say “one more push” during the last 15 pushes?
- Please remind me why we women are doing this again. And more than once?
about parenting
- Why do you have to beg, cry, or threaten to get your kids out of bed and ready to go during the week, yet they’re up at the crack of dawn on weekends?
- Why do kids seem to outgrow their clothes in the middle of the season? (After, of course, the stores have stocked next season’s clothing)
- Why does a three year old demand total and complete privacy while using the bathroom, and yet the same child incessantly bangs on the door while an adult is there?
- Why is it that when I finally buy my first new tube of lipstick in a year, do I find that my two year old and the kitchen walls use the entire tube?
- What exactly are “washable” crayons and markers supposed to be washed with? boric acid? Or does it just mean you can wash those clothes and walls as many times as you like and not worry about marks coming off?
- Why do you buy the most expensive toys for your child, but he prefers to drag the pots, pans and wooden spoons?
- Why are your children quiet and well behaved UNTIL you answer the phone?
- How can the same child who blatantly refuses to wash his hands and face before eating spend hours in the bathtub when he just wants to finish and go to bed?
- Why aren’t there monsters under mommy and daddy’s bed?
- Why do babies only spit on clean clothes (yours or theirs)?
In the life
- Why, when you call a large company, like a phone or credit card company, are you asked to enter your account number and verify it, and then when the representative finally gets to the phone, the first question that comes up? out of his mouth is “What’s your account number”?
- And why do telephone lawyers only call during dinner or bath time?
- Why do car dealers sell you a new minivan for $25,000 and then tell you at the time of delivery that the vehicle doesn’t come with floor mats?
- Why ONLY when you arrive very late at your destination, you are on the road for a mile and you notice that the EMPTY gas tank light is on?
I won’t hold my breath waiting for answers, but I think in the future I’ll take the liberty of asking “Why?”. I’ll ask the credit card company why I wasted my time entering my account number; I’ll ask my OB/GYN exactly how he knows I’ll be able to identify true labor; and I’ll ask the crayon maker what “washable” really means. I don’t think it solves any of life’s great mysteries, but it can make for a good laugh at someone else’s expense.
