New York women often tell me they don’t have time to date. Due to the very limited dates they actually go on, it is true that they “fall in love” immediately, but with little chance of taking the relationship anywhere. My first suggestion is that you are clear about what you are prepared for at this moment. Do you prefer to continue (or expand) “recreational dating” or are you looking for “the one”? I have some tips for single girls, particularly helpful for those who are new to a city:
1. Let go of men’s repellent number 1: being so needy!
I’m not telling you pretend That you don’t care while deep down you’re obsessive That would smell fake anyway. Instead, I’m suggesting that you take time to enjoy YOUR life and explore yourself instead. You will be much more attractive if you have a life first. Don’t lose your identity with your boyfriend right away, especially when many of your likes and dislikes are still unclear. It takes a bit of trial and error to understand what will work for you. Hopefully this is the last time you’re single in your life, so why the rush to get it over with ASAP? Why not try things that could be more difficult once you have a serious relationship? Backpacking, taking Italian / dancing / kendo lessons, volunteering in Africa … Working hard, saving some money, going places, enjoying the company of good friends. and just live a great life. Treat your date as a delicious dessert instead of the main dish. Otherwise, you will experience the end of the world when you are done.
2. Be the one who chooses, not the chosen one.
Choosing a man is like choosing a stock to invest in, probably one of the most important investment decisions you can make in life. Imagine how much time and energy you are going to share with this person, the stakes are really high. So choose carefully and look beyond the surface. Don’t rush for top-notch stocks (tall, dark, handsome, rich …) and compete with everyone else. Find one that is aligned with YOUR values. Material things come and go and people change jobs from time to time, but the essence of the person remains and that is what matters. Learn the skills necessary to be able to initiate contact comfortably on social occasions. If there is any potential type on your radar screen, you should give it a try and check it out.
3. Red flag waving
If you’re having a hard time judging when to quit, here are some tips for you. Get out as soon as possible if you see the following signs: It will save you a lot of headaches in the future.
- Bad manners / rudeness: There is no excuse for being rude to other people, especially when you first meet them and are trying to make a “good” impression on the other.
- Inconsistent behavior: If your date tells you one thing, but her actions contradict it.
- Sudden temperament: Is your date acting strangely with sudden outbursts of temper, raising her voice for no apparent reason?
- Self-absorbed behavior: Is your date too absorbed in her own stories? Does he not listen to you and it seems that he does not care?
Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to be.” I say, “Be the person you want to date.” The longer you live your life, the more likely you are to attract the guy you want.
