“No man is an island,” someone once said, and those few words sum up the essence of humanity. We thrive on relationships. One of the worst punishments is depriving a person of contact with others.
However, our relationships are often fragile and sometimes fall apart. Some people try hard to have positive relationships with others, but they always seem to make a mess. Others end up in destructive relationships where they are used and abused.
There are three key types of relationships that together promote positive, strong, and healthy relationships. All three need to be developed if their relationships are going to be successful.
Jesus described these three types in Mark 12:28-31. He was approached by a scribe and asked which was the greatest of all the commandments. Jesus responded by saying that the first and greatest commandment is: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength,” and a second is similar: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” He said that there is no other commandment greater than these two.
Now if these are the two greatest of the commandments, they are worth considering because they contain wisdom. They both deal with relationships and define the three most important relationships of all. Is it so:
- Our relationship with God
- Our relationship with others.
- Our relationship with ourselves
All three work together to enable positive relationships. It may be possible to be in a relationship with just one or two of these, but really good, strong relationships are best achieved when all three work together.
These three are backed by love, which is the key to a successful relationship because love is the foundation of positive and uplifting relationships.
There are many kinds of love. The love you have for a brother is different from the love you have for a friend, parent, wife, or child. God’s love is best described in 1 Corinthians 13. It shows love as active, as something you do. He says things like: “Love is patient and kind, it is not jealous or boastful, it does not insist on its own way, etc.” We can do all of this and people show love through such actions and attributes.
Love is the glue that binds all three types of relationships together. Consider this:
relationship with ourselves
If we lack self-esteem and allow others to walk all over us, we will end up in abusive relationships. To have positive relationships with others, we must first love ourselves to strengthen our self-image and self-esteem. If we have no love for ourselves, we have no relationship with ourselves, then how can we have positive relationships with others?
relationship with others
Is it possible to have positive relationships with others if we use and abuse them? If our primary purposes with others are to get our own way all the time, those relationships won’t last. Love does not use or abuse other people and most people will be “once bitten twice shy”. If we don’t show others the respect they deserve, then we can’t have a positive and mutually beneficial relationship. Good relationships may not always run smoothly, but they weather the storms and grow stronger as problems are resolved.
Relationship with God
Many ignore a relationship with God without realizing its value. A relationship with God strengthens all your other relationships. A person in a relationship with God learns behaviors that build positive relationships. They learn to take relationships to a deeper spiritual level with God, giving them inner strength, peace and calm. They become humble and strong at the same time, and more importantly, they learn to recognize that others, like themselves, have flaws. Your goal is to overlook those flaws while seeking the best for others and building relationships with consideration for the other person rather than “What’s in it for me?”
The real potential for successful relationships can only be achieved when these three key areas work together in harmony and are lovingly linked. Strive for this in all your relationships and they are sure to flourish.
