Do you take your business personally? It’s an honest question. Most people say “It’s business, don’t take it personally.” But really, is that possible? I do not think. I think business is personal. Let’s face it, we are people. We are people who have lives, who love and care about others. As humans, we are compassionate, thoughtful, and have feelings. So how can we remove sentiment from the business? we can’t. However, we can take away the negativity.
What do I mean by taking away the negativity? Many business owners take ‘no’ personally. Let’s take a look at a service-based business, such as a trainer, a personal trainer, a massage therapist, or even a virtual assistant. In these businesses it is customary to make offers to prospects to come and benefit from our services. However, when we hear ‘no’, we can understand that the prospect is saying ‘no’ to us personally, when in fact it is to the services we provide.
I call this type of behavior victim behavior. It means that when we’re told ‘no’, we feel like we’ve been rejected and then we go down the road of ‘I’m not good enough’… which never leads to anything positive. That’s what I mean when I say remove the negativity. You are good enough. When you go into victim mode, your energy drops, you have less drive to get things done, and you certainly don’t feel like making another offer because, God forbid, if that person says ‘no’ too, you just won. not be able to deal with it.
Yes, we take our business personally. I have been there. I have felt depressed when someone has said ‘no’ to me. I have felt that maybe I am not good at this and who would want to work with me anyway. It wasn’t until I realized that I was being a victim and that I was taking the ‘no’ personally. What they were saying ‘no’ to, in reality, is themselves. They are saying no to your growth, your potential and your happiness.
Here’s a secret: Usually when someone who’s a good fit for you says no, it’s because they don’t feel like they’re good enough. They may feel like they won’t get the great results he’s telling them they can get. They may feel that it will be too difficult (another downside and certainly an excuse) and that they won’t be able to live up to their expectations…or even their own.
Just so you know; a lot of people use money as an excuse and sometimes it really is a valid reason. However, if they did seek you out and ask to speak to you, it is probably time for them to move on and they may have fear and a victim mentality.
So, here are several “rules” to remember so you don’t take ‘no’ personally in your business:
Rule #1: You are good enough, here and now!
Rule #2: You have what it takes to be powerful in every situation.
Rule #3: You are none of your business; if someone says no, it’s not a personal ‘no’.
Rule #4: Keep a list of the things you excel at, and if you take a ‘no’ personally, pull them out and read them.
Rule #5: Remember Rule #1
Everyone feels that they are not living up to expectations and therefore they may not even try. Every time you hear a ‘no,’ try to also remember that it’s a no now but not forever. I know I’m not the only one who has been told no by a potential client and then come to see me at another time and said yes. People often need to think about things and process them. Yes, sometimes they need to feel the pain of the struggle a little longer before they can say yes to themselves…which, remember, is who they are finally saying yes to.
A wise mentor once told me, “You take yourself everywhere, so why not make the best of yourself every time, leaving behind the possibility of taking things personally because it never serves you well?”
