Many people who get married believe that they will stay in love forever… that nature will just take its course and spouses will continue to feel the wonderful love they felt through dating and early marriage. Could not be farther from the truth!
Most people, in most marriages, find that they have times when they feel more in love than others and there are definitely times when they may not feel much love at all. It’s also true that it’s very easy to be attracted to another person… I mean, it’s human nature to notice and appreciate others.
Those who recognize the “normal” gees and haws of marriage are easier to get over quickly. Staying in love, seeing the positives in your partner and your marriage, and focusing on them rather than the bad, helps keep loving thoughts alive. Acting lovingly with intimacy and fun, speaking lovingly and affectionately, also helps. Here are some of our ideas on what you can do to help keep the love in your marriage.
1. Recognize that staying in love doesn’t happen automatically. You can’t put it on autopilot. Keeping him has to be a priority in your marriage. It shouldn’t take a lot of work, but it will take a bit of effort.
2. Find a time or two each day to think about your spouse, maybe look at a picture, and remember why you love them.
3. At the end of each day, talk together about three things you really like and appreciate about each other and your relationship.
4. Have regular rituals together that celebrate your relationship and each other. These rituals can include lighting a candle and sharing a cup of tea every night after the kids go to bed, a weekly date night, Sunday morning breakfast in bed. Rituals help keep couples together.
5. Talk about the future together on a regular basis… whether it’s the near future like the weekend or a home project, a vacation you want to take, etc. and also about the distant future when thinking about retirement and growing old together.
6. Have a mindset of yourself and a pact with your spouse that you want to stay in love and that all problems are solvable. Some may take a while to resolve and others may require a professional “consultant”, but together you can resolve anything.
