No matter how much you try to justify jealousy (even in cases where you are deceived), it is ALWAYS the lowest feeling one can experience. And if you feel jealous (no matter what the reason), you ALWAYS lose self-respect.
When you feel jealous, you’re usually operating under the mistaken assumption (something like “wishful thinking”) that someone belongs to you, and therefore you want to control what they think, what they want, and where they want to be. Now try this: Imagine that someone wants to control what you think, what you want, and where you want to be. They can try all they want, but they will never be able to control their thoughts and desires. Similarly, you cannot control another person’s thoughts and desires either. And you can never be sure what they are. So instead of trying to achieve the impossible, leave it alone. It is a waste of time and energy.
Instead, focus on your own feelings and try to control them. If you feel jealous, it is usually because you are not sure of yourself. In those moments, remember your own worth. Affirm your own qualities and practice self-love. Work on building your confidence and self-esteem. This is both empowering and self-respecting.
At this point, you’re probably wondering “But what if I’m being cheated on?” Well, that’s no excuse to be jealous. Being the recipient of infidelity often brings up your self-esteem issues. This is why you need to work on your confidence. Because if you don’t, you’ll probably end up not only feeling jealous, but also tolerating infidelity (for fear of being left), further disrespecting yourself. Instead, you should simply get out of the relationship (assuming the infidelity is not in accordance with your personal values). That’s what any self-confident, self-respecting person would do.
You see, when there is infidelity, most people show self-disrespect in both ways: they get super jealous AND they stay in the relationship. But that is not productive and does not help you achieve anything. When someone is cheating on you, don’t take it personally. Empower yourself by asserting your own worth, refuse to be jealous, and simply walk out of the relationship. Taking personal responsibility for your feelings and actions demonstrates a high level of self-respect and is the only behavior that can help you achieve a positive outcome.
Remember: if you want a good relationship, work on the relationship. If you want a great relationship, you work on yourself!
