The Broncos are bad, the Lions are good. The Chargers are mediocre, and the Packers are one loss away from going undefeated. If there’s one thing that has been this NFL season so far, it’s completely insane.
Week 9:
1. New England Patriots (9-0) (Previous rank: 1): Well, it wasn’t the offensive shootout many of us thought we’d see, but it was exciting nonetheless (at least in the fourth quarter). Coming back from down ten on the road further cements his 16-0 campaign. Tom Brady is the best key quarterback in the game.
2. Indianapolis Colts (7-1) (Previous rank: 2): It was a loss, but the Colts showed they could play the Pats. They will meet again, most likely in the AFC Championship. They’re definitely a force to be reckoned with, but their defense can’t waste those kinds of advantages if they’re going to repeat as Super Bowl champions.
3. Dallas Cowboys (7-1) (Previous rank: 3): This was a game that a lot of people chose Philly to win. Well, Tony Romo, TO, and Jason Witten (even sans helmet) had something to say about that. His defense was also spectacular: they left Philly like grated cheese … steak.
4. Green Bay Packers (7-1) (Previous rank: 4): Is Green Bay going to the Super Bowl? Where do they win and Brett Favre (in true John Elway style) retire? Well, so far so good. This was a great win at Arrowhead. The Packers are teaching teams that it’s possible to win, even without a running back.
5. New York Giants (6-2) (Previous rank: 5): No change: farewell week.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) (Previous rank: 6): The Ravens never stood a chance in this game. They were tarred and feathered before the second half started. The Steelers are hell-bent on letting the Pats and Colts know that they’re not considered champions yet.
7. Detroit Lions (6-2) (Previous rank: 10): For anyone still up in the air over the Lions, it’s time to start landing. Detroit not only beat Denver, it made them look pathetic. On defense and offense, Detroit was nearly flawless. These Lions are determined to roar into the playoffs.
8. Tennessee Titans (6-2) (Previous rank: 7): Despite the fact that Vince Young performed poorly, the Titans continue to reap victories. One of the most pleasant surprises this season has been his defense. With his ability to capture, victory is practically in the bag.
9. Cleveland Browns (5-3) (Previous rank: 12): Midway through the season and Cleveland has a winning record? Don’t adjust your computer screens: It’s true. His offense is explosive. If they could get a little more solid on special teams and defense, the Browns could easily find themselves out of the doghouse, er, kennel.
10. Washington Redskins (5-3) (Previous rank: 15): A week after taking a beating, the Redskins came from behind to win on the road. His running game was incredible: Clinton Portis made his fantasy owners proud.
11. New Orleans Saints (4-4) (Previous rank: 16): Don’t look now, but the Saints are .500 and only a half game out of first place. After winning four in a row, this team is heating up. They dominated Jacksonville’s defense: Drew Brees had a monster game and Reggie Bush … well, he wasn’t too bad either.
12. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3) (Previous rank: 8): So much for their stellar defense: they were carved by the saints like a Thanksgiving turkey. They’re not good enough on offense to hold up when an opponent scores 41 points. If you don’t get your defense up and running, you’re not going anywhere.
13. Tampa Bay (5-4) (Previous rank: 17): Their defense left the Cardinals feeling like a bird and their offense did enough to get the job done. This win really belongs to their clock management: keeping the opponent’s offense off the field obviously makes it harder for them to score.
14. San Diego (4-4) (Previous rank: 9): Just when we thought the chargers were, well, charged, their batteries seem to have died. On a day when the rest of the AFC West lost, San Diego really would have liked a win. LaDainian Tomlinson was completely overshadowed by a rookie.
15. Seattle Seahawks (4-4) (Previous rank: 11): The Seahawks can’t throw away leads if they’re going to make the playoffs. They should have had this set in the bag, but found their feathers cut off instead. If they don’t start pressuring the opposing quarterback, they won’t fly anywhere in January.
16. Buffalo Bills (4-4) (Previous rank: 21): The Buffalo Bills’ recent run has left many people wondering if they could be a playoff team. Right now, they are certainly playing like that. Marshawn Lynch was great on Sunday and they came from behind which makes the win even bigger. This team keeps getting better.
17. Carolina Panthers (4-4) (Previous rank: 13): Their defense gave them a chance to win by intercepting Vince Young, but their offense doesn’t seem to know how to get to the end zone. Not many games will be won by scoring a measly seven points.
18. Houston Texans (4-5) (Previous rank: 24): Houston is holding on with all her might. They are playing aggressive on offense and defense. They have heart and they have passion. That’s more than many of the other NFL teams. They are an easy team to cheer on.
19. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) (Previous rank: 18): When Larry Johnson is limited, the Chiefs won’t win. Simply put, they don’t have catchers: Tony Gonzalez can’t do it alone. They have a great game this week against Denver. If they can’t compete with the Broncos, there may be no hope.
20. Baltimore Ravens (4-4) (Previous rank: 14): Wow, this was wrong. His offense was horrible and his defense was destroyed. Let’s hope the sting of this loss doesn’t make Ray Lewis want to go out and kill someone.
21. Minnesota Vikings (3-5) (Previous rank: 28): This team may not make the playoffs this year, but in the coming seasons they will be contenders. Why? Adrian Peterson. ‘Nuff said.
22. Chicago Bears (3-5) (Previous rank: 22): Without changes; Goodbye week.
23. Arizona Cardinals (3-5) (Previous rank: 19): This is turning out to be a typical season for the Arizona Cardinals. They just aren’t getting enough yards on offense — their passing game is lackluster and their running game is, well, even worse than Green Bay’s.
24. Denver Broncos (3-5) (Previous rank: 17): Dear Denver Bronco fans: Get your heads out of the oven; the season is not over yet. Still, it’s bad. Oh so, so, bad. Denver seems to be getting worse: They can’t pick up momentum and their players can’t avoid getting hurt. The only thing keeping them afloat is the ineptitude of the AFC West.
25. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) (Previous rank: 23): Philly seemed to be getting back on track and then they ran into the Cowboys. This game ended early. We’re not sure what’s wrong with this team, but they’ve flown under the radar.
26. Atlanta Falcons (2-6) (Previous rank: 29): This was a hard-won victory and one that belongs to his defense. They made big plays in San Francisco when they needed to. Warrick Dunn also had a good day, rushing 100 yards despite being in his sixties or so.
27. Cincinnati Bengals (2-6) (Previous rank: 23): There are a lot of bad defenses in the league this year, but after giving up 33 points to the Buffalo Bills, the Bengals could take the cake. Their offense is decent, but that doesn’t really matter when they can’t get past their opponents.
28. Oakland Raiders (2-6) (Previous rank: 27): Their defense seems to have lost their edge and their offense, well, that’s a whole different story. Whether it’s Culpepper or McCown seems irrelevant: They just can’t pass the ball. They’re not out yet, but they’re certainly in the basement.
29. San Francisco (2-6) (Previous rank: 26): If you go to San Francisco, make sure you have flowers in your hair…because you sure don’t want to wear a niner t-shirt. They’ve already gone down six in a row: this is a disaster. Your season is over.
30. New York Jets (1-8) (Previous rank: 30): This loss must be supported by the defense: they let Washington recover. Kellen Clemens didn’t perform any miracles, but he did have a solid game. They still get a mark in the L column, but at least they were on it.
31. St. Louis Rams (0-8) (Previous rank: 31): No change: farewell week.
32. Miami Dolphins (0-8) (Previous rank: 32): No change; Goodbye week.
