“You could have it all, my empire of dirt.
I’m going to disappoint you. I will hurt you.”
~ Nine Inch Nails, “Hult”
The lyrics of the song “Hurt” remind me of a man named William Randolph Hearst. He made and lost fortunes pioneering the “yellow paper,” a lay term for gossip papers that had a way of twisting the truth. He lived an eventful life; he employed Mark Twain, interviewed Hitler, and even ran for public office. It is widely rumored that he died alone and broke, after becoming so focused on buying items for a house that he never finished. Today, we primarily know his legacy as Hearst Castle.
“The best mentors are often the ones we choose to guide us even when advice stops.”
~Culture Inc. and the seven scrolls
One of my mentors, along with his wife, made the family decision to adopt foster children. They had children of their own, but felt called to care for children outside their nuclear family who were in need. Bill and his wife took in two brothers who came from a broken home where food was scarce and a history of abuse was the norm.
One day, Bill’s wife had prepared dinner and the foster children came into the dining room to eat. As dinner time drew to a close, Bill noticed strange behavior. Both children hid chicken and bread in their pockets to eat later.
Bill sat both boys down. “Listen,” he said. “I want you to take what’s in your pockets and put it back on the table. You both need to understand that there will be enough food here for every meal: breakfast, lunch and dinner. And if you’re still hungry, you can go to the kitchen and my The wife will provide you with snacks. We are a family here, and none of you will have to go hungry while living in this house.” I wish I had met Bill earlier in my life to listen to his wisdom and embrace his spirit of abundance. Bill has never stopped giving, and each year he has grown in terms of financial wealth to become one of the richest people I have ever met.
My family grew up on welfare for a while. I was born to a single mother who, at seventeen, was working multiple jobs just to have food on the table and a roof over our heads. She had a knack for survival and an amazing work ethic. I have to thank her for many of the skills that she took advantage of today.
I was always grateful for the help we received during the most difficult periods of our lives. Even with the help of welfare agencies and a mother who worked hard and budgeted every penny, we didn’t always have enough to get us from one week to the next. In those difficult times, the local church often left the purchases at our house.
Although I got a lot of positive values out of these experiences, I also developed some negative patterns. I became afraid of being poor. I witnessed the difficulties that poverty brought to my family and hardened my heart with the memories of having little.
As my fear overshadowed the blessings and little joys in our lives, I dismissed and forgot about the big moments and the good times. My mom had been beautiful and free. Despite the heavy loads she carried day to day, she still took the time to “play toys” with me on the floor. She would dance and act like a goofball. She was amazing. This was truly one of the most spiritually rich seasons of my life.
It saddens me, even now, to have buried my good memories with the bad ones. I thought money was the answer. This was, in my mind, the way to free myself from misery. I would eventually learn how wrong I was in my own thinking.
As I got older, I accumulated things. At the age of twenty-nine, he had four houses, two businesses, and a decent-sized bank account. I felt accomplished. I had separated from my childhood upbringing. I made it, or so I thought. As I contemplated my life and my success, I realized that I was alone, like Hearst, even in my marriage. I had spent most of my time and money on myself. Like the foster kids at the table, I was lining my pockets instead of trusting that tomorrow there would be fresh new things on the table.
This is what I learned the hard way: more money and other things only deepened my spirit of poverty. They were not of the highest value to me. I would feel fulfilled only for a moment that would quickly fade each time I acquired more things. He was building a land empire; I had money in my pockets, but no purpose in my life. As a child, I had the experience of being free. He was not chained to things, obligations, debts and desires. It took me many years to learn that it was releasing the things of the world, and giving to others, that built my greatest sense of wealth as an entrepreneur.
