Many of us are still old enough to remember the days when pulling up to a client’s office building in a roaring, gas-crazed, ultra-modern car was halfway to impressing them that you and your company had to be. bee’s knees as top. in your industry.
Today, arriving at a client’s office in an expensive gas guzzler can have precisely the opposite effect, causing socially conscious clients to look at you as if you just came out of a drain for being so selfish and inconsiderate of the planet.
Then there is the envy/jealousy/grudge factor, of course.
A few years ago, I showed up at a client’s office in a new car, not flashy, but just nice. The customer looked out the window when I closed it and said, “Nice car. We must be paying you too much.” He said it with an icy smile, but she knew it irritated him.
If the same thing had happened in North America, where I think people can be envious without being jealous, the customer’s reaction would probably have been, “Nice car. Good to see your business doing well.”
So be careful if your business is in the UK… leave the vintage Bugatti at home and take the gardener’s van instead.
So what does your mode of transportation say?
Rolls Royce or Bentley
Movie stars over the hill (rented) and fat Middle Eastern aristocrats (owned and driven at blinding speeds, especially if it’s a supercharged Bentley). Considered tasteful, if hysterically eccentric, only when it comes to a pre-1960 model.
Ferrari, Lamborghini, etc.
British footballer, American rapper, minor Arab prince, Kardashian. These cars look like big skateboards with speeds approaching Mach 1 and cockpits that only accommodate the shortest hair extensions, making them unsuitable for most female stars (although Kim K is getting pretty good at getting in).
Mercedes
Moderately successful entrepreneurs in North America, extravagantly successful executives in the UK. Most Germans and other Western Europeans use Mercedes as taxis and think the British are crazy for treating them with such reverence. Be careful when doing business in continental Europe; you may think he’s a new colleague waving at you, but he’s probably an idiot hailing a cab.
Audi
Discreet class and good taste. Audi has always tended to have a neutral socio-economic profile, unlike BMW (flashy and nouveau riche), Volvo (very boring), Skoda (cheap and nasty), Volkswagen (slightly boring), Ford (snake oil seller), etc. Audi’s image has remained neutral despite being the preferred choice of wheels for several members of the British royal family, which speaks volumes about its star power.
Large SUVs / 4WD / 4×4
A wealthy and ruthless owner of a fast-food chain, a dodgy real estate agent, an elderly sportsman or a nervous 5-foot-1 mom peering over the wheel while driving two young children to daycare. About as green as a neutron bomb, so you can’t sell rooftop solar panels or aromatherapy oils.
people transport
Known in the US as “mini-vans,” they seat 7 or 8 people and suggest you’re a minor rock or movie star (if the windows are boarded up), a hopping cabbie (depending on which door you take). outside), or parent of a large family (be sure to wipe baby vomit off your business suit before exiting the vehicle).
smart car
Would you really have the nerve to show up to a meeting on a four-wheeled urinal where neither Noddy nor Ears would be seen? Useful if your client’s office is downtown because you can park it next to the trash cans. If you must drive one, make sure your business suit has decent-sized pockets so you can stash the beastly thing in there with your keys and phone.
convertible sports car
Great if you are young and a) male and/or b) have a very short hairstyle. Not great for smartly dressed women (hair and makeup turn to slime at 30+ mph and you end up with your skirt around your neck going in and out) or middlemen trying to prove they’re not suffering from male menopause.
Motorcycle
Depends. Arriving at a meeting on a retro Vespa scooter is great if you’re in one of the woo-woo industries, but if your client is in a macho business, he’ll think you’re a nerd. A Honda Goldwing or a big Harley gives your image a lot of snarl, but remember that most “Easy Rider” bike enthusiasts are in their 60s with tattoos everywhere and gray ponytails hanging down to their heads. ankles. Make sure it matches your company branding.
Bike
15 or 20 years ago, showing up to a business meeting in an expensive suit, bike clips, and a helmet would make you look like an award-winning chump. Today it’s considered eco-friendly and saves money, a fact that hasn’t gone unnoticed by politicians and industry leaders who make sure the paparazzi get good shots of them pedaling to Buckingham Palace or down Wall Street. But be real. Riding a bike to work or a client meeting in the rain sucks. It does not matter to be fashionable; ride the subway.
segways
My fantasy…so I’ll probably make it to a meeting in one of these, says idiot, obese, wacko, business freelance writer. To hell with that; me want a Segway despite the fact that I would surely fall on my face in the first 30 meters. In the meantime, I’ll stick with my (slightly boring) Volkswagen.
What do you think your wheels say about you and your business?
