Marriage is never perfect nor is it always imperfect. Perception plays an important role in the happiness or unhappiness of marriage. So what makes some marriages last 50 years and others less than 6 months? Are the 2 wrong people getting married for the wrong reason? Maybe it’s less about people and more about perceptions and expectations. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the sacrifices or lack thereof.
OK, we can agree on this, I’m sure. No marriage is perfect. You may be looking at a couple who seem perfect together. They have the right looks, great jobs, a beautiful house, and the cutest kids. Guess what? Even couples who look perfect have to make sacrifices, just to live happily ever after.
Here’s the deal. You have to be willing to live together and give up something you want. Let’s dig a little deeper.
Well, you might want to have a 5 bedroom house in the right school district and drive fancy cars like everyone else in the neighborhood. So what are you willing to give up to get those things? Are you willing to spend less time with family and with your spouse, since one or both of you will have to work more hours to maintain the lifestyle?
I can’t understand why the spouse complains about not having enough time together when the very lifestyle they seek demands less quality time together.
Then there are the other sacrifices you have to make if you really want to live happily ever after. Here are some of them that you should consider, for the sake of keeping your marriage together;
- Don’t make hanging out with friends more important than being with your family.
- Avoid making working late a habit you can’t break
- Be willing to forgive, sacrificing your need to always be right
- Sacrifice buying what you want and sometimes buying what you need
- Consider your spouse’s needs over your needs, sometimes
- Think about giving up some of the material things for better relational things.
Sacrificing yourself is not easy but it is necessary if you want to keep your relationship healthy. One key to sacrificing, however, is that both of you must be willing to sacrifice. This won’t work if only one of you is willing to do it.
Clearly, if your spouse wants to hang out with co-workers every Friday night while you’re home alone or with the kids, that’s not healthy. Of course spouses need their space. I get it. However, no one needs to try to hold on to their old lifestyle when they were single. If a person tries to be married and single, she will end up single. A marriage has to have limits. Without them, the marriage will crumble and burn pretty quickly.
If you’re frustrated or unhappy in your marriage, it’s probably because sacrifices aren’t being made. Find out what they are and focus on making small but significant changes to bring you and your spouse closer together. Do you need more time and less stuff or less time and more stuff? Whatever it is, find out now and you can live together, happily ever after.
